[ not her fault he says. him of all people. her entire body tenses up and she clenches her hands into tight fists instantly. it would be so easy to turn around and refresh the bruise on his face or give him something else to worry about and explain. it'd be easy. ...she bets he wouldn't dodge from it. it'd just be like shima all over again. ]
Sounds rich coming from you.
[ there are barbs in her voice as she still refuses to look at him. sharp and harsh. she can't look at someone who would has effectively refused to say a single truthful thing to her since he met her. no, well, he said some things that were truthful, probably, but not where it mattered. the truth he told her was just empty words compared to what he hid from her. what does it matter from understanding where he stood when he stood idly by and allowed someone who had done no wrong die?
it's comical that was his immediate takeaway from what he witnessed. her fear, the way that her life fell to pieces due to one action, her despair as she signed away her life, and the fury that she felt for even trusting them in the first place. he chose to sympathize with the woman who had been the start of it all. maybe it's because he saw himself similar to her? a woman who eventually saw the wrongs that she had committed but also refused to stick to that conviction to save her own skin. ]
(His brow furrows and he looks at her. How exactly had she interpreted that? In the worst way possible, he's certain. Hah.
He wonders if it's even worth trying to explain himself to her. Yelling, fighting, explaining himself... he knows those things won't work if her mind is already made up.
But he tries. Because this is Izumo and he wants to try,)
That isn't what I mean.
(Whatever she means. It isn't that.)
You think I sympathize with that woman more than you, don't you? That I see myself in her and that's all I took from that?
I heard what she said to you and how her actions hurt you. I saw you put your trust in people and have it turn against you. And I see how your trust is fragile and why you feel like things are so pointless.
(It's her. It's her trust. Her pain. Her suffering. But more than that, it's also the people in her life. Those are the people that shaped her and made her what she is.)
Do you think I need to see this to understand what I did to you was wrong? I already knew. Now, I just have more context.
Last time, you asked me what I wanted from you and I said I would accept whatever you decided. So now, what do you want from me? Pity? Sympathy? To give up on everything and spend the rest of my time here at your mercy?
[ of course he's on the mark but she won't give him the credit and instead just moves forward with what he is really wanting. rather, what they both should settle. ]
As though there's anything to ask for. [ her answer comes quicker than the previous time. they've had their time to deal with what happened accordingly. however, of course, they chose to deal with it varied. who reached out? who remained silent? it doesn't matter. ] Regardless of whatever happens, we're not given a luxury to ask for much here. We are at the mercy of what we're allowed.
[ do they have the choice of what memories are lost? which are returned? (if/when they are given the opportunity for it.) what place they're dragged to next..? who will be the next one to splinter and be taken from them?
what they are allowed to do is react and hopefully prepare for what's to come. ]
So, no; there's nothing I'd ask from you because I'm sure you'll figure out how to handle this on your own. Neither of us want each other's pity or any of that—I'll make that much clear.
(He's certain she'll figure things out for herself, too and really... they're in agreement. Neither really wants (or expects) much from the other.)
There are bigger things to focus on than each other. (They have better things to do than sulk and go at each other, really. In some ways, it's a relief but in other ways... well, it certainly does leave things unresolved. But resolution isn't owed.) ... But I am sorry, Izumo.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Sounds rich coming from you.
[ there are barbs in her voice as she still refuses to look at him. sharp and harsh. she can't look at someone who would has effectively refused to say a single truthful thing to her since he met her. no, well, he said some things that were truthful, probably, but not where it mattered. the truth he told her was just empty words compared to what he hid from her. what does it matter from understanding where he stood when he stood idly by and allowed someone who had done no wrong die?
it's comical that was his immediate takeaway from what he witnessed. her fear, the way that her life fell to pieces due to one action, her despair as she signed away her life, and the fury that she felt for even trusting them in the first place. he chose to sympathize with the woman who had been the start of it all. maybe it's because he saw himself similar to her? a woman who eventually saw the wrongs that she had committed but also refused to stick to that conviction to save her own skin. ]
no subject
(His brow furrows and he looks at her. How exactly had she interpreted that? In the worst way possible, he's certain. Hah.
He wonders if it's even worth trying to explain himself to her. Yelling, fighting, explaining himself... he knows those things won't work if her mind is already made up.
But he tries. Because this is Izumo and he wants to try,)
That isn't what I mean.
(Whatever she means. It isn't that.)
You think I sympathize with that woman more than you, don't you? That I see myself in her and that's all I took from that?
I heard what she said to you and how her actions hurt you. I saw you put your trust in people and have it turn against you. And I see how your trust is fragile and why you feel like things are so pointless.
(It's her. It's her trust. Her pain. Her suffering. But more than that, it's also the people in her life. Those are the people that shaped her and made her what she is.)
Do you think I need to see this to understand what I did to you was wrong? I already knew. Now, I just have more context.
Last time, you asked me what I wanted from you and I said I would accept whatever you decided. So now, what do you want from me? Pity? Sympathy? To give up on everything and spend the rest of my time here at your mercy?
no subject
As though there's anything to ask for. [ her answer comes quicker than the previous time. they've had their time to deal with what happened accordingly. however, of course, they chose to deal with it varied. who reached out? who remained silent? it doesn't matter. ] Regardless of whatever happens, we're not given a luxury to ask for much here. We are at the mercy of what we're allowed.
[ do they have the choice of what memories are lost? which are returned? (if/when they are given the opportunity for it.) what place they're dragged to next..? who will be the next one to splinter and be taken from them?
what they are allowed to do is react and hopefully prepare for what's to come. ]
So, no; there's nothing I'd ask from you because I'm sure you'll figure out how to handle this on your own. Neither of us want each other's pity or any of that—I'll make that much clear.
no subject
(He's certain she'll figure things out for herself, too and really... they're in agreement. Neither really wants (or expects) much from the other.)
There are bigger things to focus on than each other. (They have better things to do than sulk and go at each other, really. In some ways, it's a relief but in other ways... well, it certainly does leave things unresolved. But resolution isn't owed.) ... But I am sorry, Izumo.
(That last part is spoken softly,)
You deserve better.