[ her birthday is in october!!! the day that they executed kano, in fact. did you know how bad of a day that was for her in retrospect? regardless, when she notices him she'll just stop what she's doing and give him a look. to say that she's glad that the bruise is clearing up would be a lie; if she had it her way, it'd stick around a little bit longer.
but...well. she'll give him a moment to see if he has anything to say to her before she decides to leave (and runs into a bubble). ]
(From whatever she's doing. Looking around? Leaving? He is, unfortunately, not going to be the one to leave this time. If she wants him to leave, she'll have to say it herself. He's not a mindreader (even if he knows better). He has things he's going to do with or without her now!
(It looks like someone really is fine.)
He'll step aside, away from the door, and give her space! But he's definitely... going to be sticking around. There are drawers and shelves to rifle through UNTIL SHE HAS TO RUN INTO A DANG BUBBLE WHICH HAS HIM SAYING,)
[ unfortunate for her that she's ignoring all of the things he was saying (and trying) to warn her about because as she walks right into a bubble it's too late. honestly, there could be some sort of pretext to all of this but no. only memories that make her sick. she'd cry if she wasn't so numb to it. so, enjoy claude...
because once they're over izumo will be frozen in spot. what an ugly memory...and all of the memories that had to be dug up from her past. she won't turn to look at claude or say a word, but maybe if he's smart he's learning something from all of this. when she looked like a scared, cornered animal, maybe there was something to that. maybe there was a reason that isn't superficial for why her trust is so fragile and once broken affects her more than anything else. maybe he's figured out why she has been and will be so reluctant to open herself to anyone. ]
(What a disgusting man, he thinks. A hideous man from inside out. The worst kind of monster, one that doesn't deserve any sort of mercy or pity like the monsters of his own world. Who needs monsters when there are men like this in the world?
Monsters that see people as expendable. As test subjects. As nothing more than rats and mice they can use. He thinks of Remire Village and how the people had been afflicted with whatever curse Solon afflicted on them. He thinks about the students that were turned into beasts at the Chapel for them to slaughter. He thinks about how Solon turning on Kronya, ripping out her heart, crushing her heart in the name of "use."
There were beasts. There were demons. But the monster had been that man and he sees the same thing in this disgusting man in Izumo's memories.
But there's more. There's so much to unpack. That woman who had brought Izumo to him. That woman who... she hadn't seemed like a cruel person. She seemed like she'd meant well. Really, he pities her. A compassionate woman in a twisted organization. Had she realized what she was getting Izumo into? He thinks so. Why else would she remove her sister? She knew what she was getting Izumo into. She knew what she was doing and she brought her into that place, let those things happen, let that man into her life.)
Izumo...
(What does he even say here? A thousand words come to mind but hardly any of them seem appropriate.
(Every word he'd ever said to her was a lie. Even if he'd meant it honestly, they all just became lies. True intentions aren't the same as true reality.)
The first words to come out of his mouth are--)
It's not your fault for trusting her.
(The imprisonment. Her sister being taken. Her mother's suffering. It wasn't her fault for trusting that woman.)
[ not her fault he says. him of all people. her entire body tenses up and she clenches her hands into tight fists instantly. it would be so easy to turn around and refresh the bruise on his face or give him something else to worry about and explain. it'd be easy. ...she bets he wouldn't dodge from it. it'd just be like shima all over again. ]
Sounds rich coming from you.
[ there are barbs in her voice as she still refuses to look at him. sharp and harsh. she can't look at someone who would has effectively refused to say a single truthful thing to her since he met her. no, well, he said some things that were truthful, probably, but not where it mattered. the truth he told her was just empty words compared to what he hid from her. what does it matter from understanding where he stood when he stood idly by and allowed someone who had done no wrong die?
it's comical that was his immediate takeaway from what he witnessed. her fear, the way that her life fell to pieces due to one action, her despair as she signed away her life, and the fury that she felt for even trusting them in the first place. he chose to sympathize with the woman who had been the start of it all. maybe it's because he saw himself similar to her? a woman who eventually saw the wrongs that she had committed but also refused to stick to that conviction to save her own skin. ]
(His brow furrows and he looks at her. How exactly had she interpreted that? In the worst way possible, he's certain. Hah.
He wonders if it's even worth trying to explain himself to her. Yelling, fighting, explaining himself... he knows those things won't work if her mind is already made up.
But he tries. Because this is Izumo and he wants to try,)
That isn't what I mean.
(Whatever she means. It isn't that.)
You think I sympathize with that woman more than you, don't you? That I see myself in her and that's all I took from that?
I heard what she said to you and how her actions hurt you. I saw you put your trust in people and have it turn against you. And I see how your trust is fragile and why you feel like things are so pointless.
(It's her. It's her trust. Her pain. Her suffering. But more than that, it's also the people in her life. Those are the people that shaped her and made her what she is.)
Do you think I need to see this to understand what I did to you was wrong? I already knew. Now, I just have more context.
Last time, you asked me what I wanted from you and I said I would accept whatever you decided. So now, what do you want from me? Pity? Sympathy? To give up on everything and spend the rest of my time here at your mercy?
[ of course he's on the mark but she won't give him the credit and instead just moves forward with what he is really wanting. rather, what they both should settle. ]
As though there's anything to ask for. [ her answer comes quicker than the previous time. they've had their time to deal with what happened accordingly. however, of course, they chose to deal with it varied. who reached out? who remained silent? it doesn't matter. ] Regardless of whatever happens, we're not given a luxury to ask for much here. We are at the mercy of what we're allowed.
[ do they have the choice of what memories are lost? which are returned? (if/when they are given the opportunity for it.) what place they're dragged to next..? who will be the next one to splinter and be taken from them?
what they are allowed to do is react and hopefully prepare for what's to come. ]
So, no; there's nothing I'd ask from you because I'm sure you'll figure out how to handle this on your own. Neither of us want each other's pity or any of that—I'll make that much clear.
(He's certain she'll figure things out for herself, too and really... they're in agreement. Neither really wants (or expects) much from the other.)
There are bigger things to focus on than each other. (They have better things to do than sulk and go at each other, really. In some ways, it's a relief but in other ways... well, it certainly does leave things unresolved. But resolution isn't owed.) ... But I am sorry, Izumo.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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but...well. she'll give him a moment to see if he has anything to say to her before she decides to leave (and runs into a bubble). ]
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But well!! What is there really to say besides--)
Don't let me stop you.
(From whatever she's doing. Looking around? Leaving? He is, unfortunately, not going to be the one to leave this time. If she wants him to leave, she'll have to say it herself. He's not a mindreader (even if he knows better). He has things he's going to do with or without her now!
(It looks like someone really is fine.)
He'll step aside, away from the door, and give her space! But he's definitely... going to be sticking around. There are drawers and shelves to rifle through UNTIL SHE HAS TO RUN INTO A DANG BUBBLE WHICH HAS HIM SAYING,)
Hey, watch out--
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because once they're over izumo will be frozen in spot. what an ugly memory...and all of the memories that had to be dug up from her past. she won't turn to look at claude or say a word, but maybe if he's smart he's learning something from all of this. when she looked like a scared, cornered animal, maybe there was something to that. maybe there was a reason that isn't superficial for why her trust is so fragile and once broken affects her more than anything else. maybe he's figured out why she has been and will be so reluctant to open herself to anyone. ]
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Monsters that see people as expendable. As test subjects. As nothing more than rats and mice they can use. He thinks of Remire Village and how the people had been afflicted with whatever curse Solon afflicted on them. He thinks about the students that were turned into beasts at the Chapel for them to slaughter. He thinks about how Solon turning on Kronya, ripping out her heart, crushing her heart in the name of "use."
There were beasts. There were demons. But the monster had been that man and he sees the same thing in this disgusting man in Izumo's memories.
But there's more. There's so much to unpack. That woman who had brought Izumo to him. That woman who... she hadn't seemed like a cruel person. She seemed like she'd meant well. Really, he pities her. A compassionate woman in a twisted organization. Had she realized what she was getting Izumo into? He thinks so. Why else would she remove her sister? She knew what she was getting Izumo into. She knew what she was doing and she brought her into that place, let those things happen, let that man into her life.)
Izumo...
(What does he even say here? A thousand words come to mind but hardly any of them seem appropriate.
(Every word he'd ever said to her was a lie. Even if he'd meant it honestly, they all just became lies. True intentions aren't the same as true reality.)
The first words to come out of his mouth are--)
It's not your fault for trusting her.
(The imprisonment. Her sister being taken. Her mother's suffering. It wasn't her fault for trusting that woman.)
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Sounds rich coming from you.
[ there are barbs in her voice as she still refuses to look at him. sharp and harsh. she can't look at someone who would has effectively refused to say a single truthful thing to her since he met her. no, well, he said some things that were truthful, probably, but not where it mattered. the truth he told her was just empty words compared to what he hid from her. what does it matter from understanding where he stood when he stood idly by and allowed someone who had done no wrong die?
it's comical that was his immediate takeaway from what he witnessed. her fear, the way that her life fell to pieces due to one action, her despair as she signed away her life, and the fury that she felt for even trusting them in the first place. he chose to sympathize with the woman who had been the start of it all. maybe it's because he saw himself similar to her? a woman who eventually saw the wrongs that she had committed but also refused to stick to that conviction to save her own skin. ]
no subject
(His brow furrows and he looks at her. How exactly had she interpreted that? In the worst way possible, he's certain. Hah.
He wonders if it's even worth trying to explain himself to her. Yelling, fighting, explaining himself... he knows those things won't work if her mind is already made up.
But he tries. Because this is Izumo and he wants to try,)
That isn't what I mean.
(Whatever she means. It isn't that.)
You think I sympathize with that woman more than you, don't you? That I see myself in her and that's all I took from that?
I heard what she said to you and how her actions hurt you. I saw you put your trust in people and have it turn against you. And I see how your trust is fragile and why you feel like things are so pointless.
(It's her. It's her trust. Her pain. Her suffering. But more than that, it's also the people in her life. Those are the people that shaped her and made her what she is.)
Do you think I need to see this to understand what I did to you was wrong? I already knew. Now, I just have more context.
Last time, you asked me what I wanted from you and I said I would accept whatever you decided. So now, what do you want from me? Pity? Sympathy? To give up on everything and spend the rest of my time here at your mercy?
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As though there's anything to ask for. [ her answer comes quicker than the previous time. they've had their time to deal with what happened accordingly. however, of course, they chose to deal with it varied. who reached out? who remained silent? it doesn't matter. ] Regardless of whatever happens, we're not given a luxury to ask for much here. We are at the mercy of what we're allowed.
[ do they have the choice of what memories are lost? which are returned? (if/when they are given the opportunity for it.) what place they're dragged to next..? who will be the next one to splinter and be taken from them?
what they are allowed to do is react and hopefully prepare for what's to come. ]
So, no; there's nothing I'd ask from you because I'm sure you'll figure out how to handle this on your own. Neither of us want each other's pity or any of that—I'll make that much clear.
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(He's certain she'll figure things out for herself, too and really... they're in agreement. Neither really wants (or expects) much from the other.)
There are bigger things to focus on than each other. (They have better things to do than sulk and go at each other, really. In some ways, it's a relief but in other ways... well, it certainly does leave things unresolved. But resolution isn't owed.) ... But I am sorry, Izumo.
(That last part is spoken softly,)
You deserve better.